Tuesday, July 25, 2006

Many Days Have Passed...

Many days have passed. I have hardly held on to them. I let them briskly brush past me. Then I watch them disappear around the corner.

Many days have passed, and on most I awoke with the hopes of writing a new blog. I obviously haven’t done that until now, more than a month after I’ve returned. I think that it has been intentional… I’ve built a vast wall inside of me separating my East Africa from my West Coast, and I don’t dare peek over it. I don’t want to think about Ethiopia, I’ve blocked myself off from it, which probably isn’t that healthy. And that’s the tricky thing now that I’m home: How do I find the balance? How do I hold on to Ethiopia and keep it a part of me? How do I live here in a completely separate reality without forgetting about Addis…?

Maybe I make things more complicated than they have to be, and moving on in life doesn’t have to be as difficult as I make it. Some people might tell me to stop whining and move on, what’s done is done. But I just can’t see it as that simple… bahhhh, I don’t know, my thoughts on this are still so scrambled, I can’t cohesively string my thoughts together yet… and I still need a “What is Ethiopia?” blog as well.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Hey Samra, your blog ha been very fun to read. You are an excellent writer. Like you I have travelled back and forth between Addis and North America. The thing that amazes me about Ethiopia is that you find love, quite ordinary, but beautiful love, in the strangest, most pedestrian of places. Your story of Abiye reminds of one such instance. The question you should ask yourself is not how do you keep Ethiopia inside of you while on the West Coast, but how do you stay true to the experience of that love. That of course is a life time question, but for now let it wash over you. There something unspeakably profound in bearing witness to that kind of love.

enaseb said...

anyone who has experienced culture hoping to any extent (leave alone to your DNA extent) would never tell you "what's done is done so move on". instead we are all too familiar of the chasm you teeter over. so we are more inclined to exchange heartfelt dialogues about the view. samraye...after many tears spilled (many still do) it has dawned on me that this view has a HUGE vantage point. Kahlil's quote you shared with your classmates (blessings to Lebanon today) really applies here. here's to all the tears surging over our souls (as the nile floods) sprouting new understanding within us about humanity. oh, and to sharing it.