Sunday, August 07, 2005

Entonces au revoir y ciao?

So I'm on a roll... I haven't even left yet and this is my third post! Haha, well, c'est la vie: I have a lot on my mind.

Entonces, why is it so hard to say goodbye? I mean, besides hard in the sense that I don't want to have to say goodbye, all of my goodbyes (change the "y" to an "i" and add "e-s"?) thus far have been unsatisfying, even slightly awkward. Today was the last time I'll see several good friends until at least December, and saying "bye" seemed hollow and anticlimactic. It's not that I expected us to start sobbing as we embrace (cue the sappy music in the background), but it felt empty, a little unreal and irrelevant even. We say "Oh God, I won't see you till FOREEEEVER." It's always then "Well, have a great time in Ethiopia, I know that it'll be an incredible experience." Have I ever responded by saying anything other than "Thanks, and have a GREAT year!"? We hug, and sometimes it's hard to tell how tight we are allowed to squeeze. We let go to devour one last momentary glance at each other, ingesting only traces of each other to last as final memories. Then we hug again even tighter than the first time. "Well... this is it I guess," we sigh. We smile. It's all happened so quickly. Are we looking each other in the eye? I can't remember. "I love you." "I love you more."

But it is bittersweet, incomplete, not at all fulfilling.

4 comments:

sarah rothman said...

Hey samra!
You just left this morn, so you're probably not even in Ethiopia yet. I was just thinkin of you, and hopefully this message will greet you when you get there! I love you and i hope that you enjoyed the organic cupcakes on the plane! tata for now!
love,
sarah

Sam said...

Samra, I miss you so much already, and I hope you're having an amazing time. Everyday I find myself wanting to sing with you--whether Collide comes on the radio or I need the low harmony to a song--or talk about rolling stones or the letter you sent me. Everyday I listen to the music you gave me...Sound of Settling, that Enya song and the live version of Wonderwall are some of my new favorites. But oh no! You forgot Wishing it was! Aw, I want to sing in the halls and be late to class again. Or have lunchtime talks on the stairs...Anyway, I really want to hear from you...so hop to it and start writing blogs again. Everyone misses you, me especially. Have an amazing time!
"Besos,"
Sam

~Aaron Paul said...

http://www.nytimes.com/2005/08/15/international/africa/15ethiopia.html?hp
this is an article about Bathroom reviews in Addis, and it's in the New York Times...kind of funny article, and thought you'd be interested.

aa

Lilly said...

Dear Samra,
I love you more than words can describe, and i really mean that. I'll be checking on your blog as often as possible. You're wonderful and beautiful and in Ethiopia growing up. Wow. I can't wait to hear all about the amazing times you have.
Lovelovelove,
Lilly