Make new friends and keep the old

Ummm, so I wanna talk about friends. And I wanna talk about pushing my comfort zone. Because the past week in particular I feel like I've really pushed my previous comfort zones and made new friends. There's a certain security and self-assurance, maybe even a strength, that I have found recently and that have allowed me confidence. There was a festival at People's Park in Berkeley last weekend celebrating its 40th Anniversary. After a lovely South Berkeley Sunday morning with a good friend visiting from school (he's from Berkeley) I headed to the park to check it out. While I had called up a couple of friends I ended up being there on my own. And I should say here that I have considered myself shy. I'm actually really outgoing, but in new social situations or when I find myself uncomfortable I get really quiet. I also used to be too nervous to ask the waiter for more water at restaurants. But I ran into some folks I went to Mosaic Project training and I again realized their age. To be a staff at Mosaic you have to be at least 21 and so I'm a cabin leader, mostly with high school students. Now that I'm TWENTY (something I've been somewhat freaking out about... I know I don't need to, but seriously, in my twenties, what?) to be surrounded by 16, 17, and 18-year-olds is BIZARRE. I ran into my sort of aunt (only sort of because in Ethiopia pretty much everyone's related...) and her hippie husband. I ran into a girl I know, I'm not really friends with, and sat down with her. When she left stayed there with her crazy friend from Tehran. Was introduced to a Norwegian traveler by some girl I don't even know. And his name is Leif. And he's fabulous. And we went on a hike, and I brought him home for dinner. And if I don't see him tomorrow I might never see him again. And that's beautiful. I am another friendly face he's found somewhere on the world and I wonder if he'll remember my name. So that's bittersweet, but it's just the way things are. We still connected and have shared a very real and simple friendship. And if I hadn't finally gotten to a place where I felt comfortable venturing into an unkown space on my own (albeit, a festival in People's Park is a very warm, welcoming, and receptive space) then I wouldn't have had the wonderful experience of meeting Leif. In fact, this week I feel like I've really made five new friends, at least one of whom I think I'll remain friends with for awhile. All of this is simply to say that something about this time off is going really right. It's healing. I've also really used others and their friendship as a crutch for my sense of fulfillment, so finding this personal strength, capability, and sense of self is really empowering. So push your boundaries today, go outside and mix it up, talk to a stranger, engage a smile with that old woman on the corner and maybe shake hands with the dude always selling newspapers. There are so many people to enjoy. Make a new friend.

Friends

Ummm, so I wanna talk about friends. And I wanna talk about pushing my comfort zone. Because the past week in particular I feel like I've really pushed my previous comfort zones and made new friends. There's a certain security and self-assurance, maybe even a strength, that I have found recently and that have allowed me confidence. There was a festival at People's Park in Berkeley last weekend celebrating its 40th Anniversary. After a lovely South Berkeley Sunday morning with a good friend visiting from school (he's from Berkeley) I headed to the park to check it out. While I had called up a couple of friends I ended up being there on my own. And I should say here that I have considered myself shy. I'm actually really outgoing, but in new social situations or when I find myself uncomfortable I get really quiet. I also used to be too nervous to ask the waiter for more water at restaurants. But I ran into some folks I went to Mosaic Project training and I again realized their age. To be a staff at Mosaic you have to be at least 21 and so I'm a cabin leader, mostly with high school students. Now that I'm TWENTY (something I've been somewhat freaking out about... I know I don't need to, but seriously, in my twenties, what?) to be surrounded by 16, 17, and 18-year-olds is BIZARRE. I ran into my sort of aunt (only sort of because in Ethiopia pretty much everyone's related...) and her hippie husband. I ran into a girl I know, I'm not really friends with, and sat down with her. When she left stayed there with her crazy friend from Tehran. Was introduced to a Norwegian traveler by some girl I don't even know. And his name is Leif. And he's fabulous. And we went on a hike, and I brought him home for dinner. And if I don't see him tomorrow I might never see him again. And that's beautiful. I am another friendly face he's found somewhere on the world and I wonder if he'll remember my name. So that's bittersweet, but it's just the way things are. We still connected and have shared a very real and simple friendship. And if I hadn't finally gotten to a place where I felt comfortable venturing into an unkown space on my own (albeit, a festival in People's Park is a very warm, welcoming, and receptive space) then I wouldn't have had the wonderful experience of meeting Leif. In fact, this week I feel like I've really made five new friends, at least one of whom I think I'll remain friends with for awhile. All of this is simply to say that something about this time off is going really right. It's healing. I've also really used others and their friendship as a crutch for my sense of fulfillment, so finding this personal strength, capability, and sense of self is really empowering. So push your boundaries today, go outside and mix it up, talk to a stranger, engage a smile with that old woman on the corner and maybe shake hands with the dude always selling newspapers. There are so many people to enjoy. Make a new friend.

WOMANIST

My best friend from childhood sent this to me in an email this morning. I like it.

Alice Walker's Definition of a "Womanist" from In Search of Our Mothers' Gardens: Womanist Prose Copyright 1983. Harcourt Brace Jovanovich

Quote

WOMANIST
1. From womanish. (Opp. of "girlish," i.e. frivolous, irresponsible, not serious.) A black feminist or feminist of color. From the black folk expression of mothers to female children, "you acting womanish," i.e., like a woman. Usually referring to outrageous, audacious, courageous or willful behavior. Wanting to know more and in greater depth than is considered "good" for one. Interested in grown up doings. Acting grown up. Being grown up. Interchangeable with another black folk expression: "You trying to be grown." Responsible. In charge. Serious.
2. Also: A woman who loves other women, sexually and/or nonsexually. Appreciates and prefers women's culture, women's emotional flexibility (values tears as natural counterbalance of laughter), and women's strength. Sometimes loves individual men, sexually and/or nonsexually. Committed to survival and wholeness of entire people, male and female. Not a separatist, except periodically, for health. Traditionally a universalist, as in: "Mama, why are we brown, pink, and yellow, and our cousins are white, beige and black?" Ans. "Well, you know the colored race is just like a flower garden, with every color flower represented." Traditionally capable, as in: "Mama, I'm walking to Canada and I'm taking you and a bunch of other slaves with me." Reply: "It wouldn't be the first time."
3. Loves music. Loves dance. Loves the moon. Loves the Spirit. Loves love and food and roundness. Loves struggle. Loves the Folk. Loves herself. Regardless.
4. Womanist is to feminist as purple is to lavender.