...do you ever think about just... going? Not going anywhere in particular, but going wherever's next.
Just packing a bag, the things that you need, and getting up and leaving? Drop everything, leave it all, and disappear.
Sometimes I just want to head outside and walk, or get in my car and drive (that's more complicated because it requires a good amount of money) and not come back. Sometimes I just want to leave everything I know and wander. Subsist. It would be adventuring and exploring (which I love to do and don't do enough), but I think really it would be more like experiencing. Just living. Really living.
Time For A Change
2 months ago
4 comments:
Hi Samara,
Great post as usual. When life gets too stifling and restricting sometimes, it is only natural to feel what you are feeling. When I drive home sometimes, I often wonder what would happen if I don’t take my particular exit heading home and just continue driving and never to look back again. The more I feel stifled about my life, the more I have those thoughts so I can relate! But then there are other times when I feel like I am exactly where I am supposed to be at that time. I wish for you to find your center in what you choose to do.
Though I commented only one time before, I have been following your blog on and off for a little while now. I truly appreciate your writing style, thought process, and insight into life at such a young age. I am sorry you felt disheartened about your journey in Harvard, and I wish you luck in your effort to find your balance again. Hope going home to sunny California helps you to regroup, and figure out what direction you want to take your life.
I wish you the best of luck in your journey!
so I was talking with some people about just leaving and moving around from place to place with no direction to go only to be informed that back before the west was "settled" people would sometimes just go out into the wilderness by themselves. No particular direction in mind, just away from it all that had become so familiar. Quite similar to "Into the Wild" , which I suggest you read if you haven't, but none the less a wonderful reassurance that there are others who share this desire to take the unbeaten path and experience something new and unexpected. I don't know where I'm going with this because I am tired and delirious from being sick, but I do know one thing and that is the fact that I along with others have this feeling of just wanting to drop everything and leave. The only thing is that some of us are too frightened of surviving out there in this tumultuous environment after following such rigorous guidelines all of our life. To stray from a basic structure of passing through life we've grown up with seems too foreign and its hard to weigh pros and cons when you don't know what's out there waiting for you. Alright I'm done rambling, hopefully I can come back and structure this random string of thought when I'm in better health, till then stay strong and think through it all.
-marsh
I wish you would write again!
But I guess you're busy "Really Living" now, and one can't blame you for that. :)
I get this way every week. I don't know how many Saturdays I've spent wandering around Boston, walking by myself, for hours, until my feet hurt too much to keeping going or it gets too cold or dark... xo Anna
Post a Comment